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Joseph had heard how his brothers feared he would act vengeance on them now that their father, Jacob, had died. This fear they had of him really grieved Joseph’s heart. He decided to reassure them that he would continue to care for them and their families beginning with asking them, “Am I in the place of God?”

“But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done,
the saving of many lives.’”
Genesis 50:19 NIV

Joseph understood that if he withheld his forgiveness from them that he would be taking a seat that belonged to God, the seat of judgement. Instead he continues to walk in forgiveness towards them and their betrayal of him. He refuses to be in the place that belongs to God alone.

This one verse found in the narrative of Joseph, the Dreamer, gave me a visual that I could wrap my head and heart around when it came to forgiving those in my life that have harmed me.

If I found it difficult to release my offense towards another, I could easily remember what Joseph asked his brothers and remind myself the same, that I am not in the place of God and nor do I choose to be.

I am confident that God knew how us choosing to not forgive others would harm us in the end. There are scientific articles that share the importance of forgiveness in relation to our own health physically. Those that continually refuse to forgive others have physical ailments as a result: high blood pressure, diabetes, issues with their heart and so on.

Un-forgiveness creates within us negative emotions which in turn are not good for our nervous system and health if we hold onto them for too long.

The judgement seat does belong to God and more so in regards to those that have harmed us. And when we rob God of what belongs to Him we only bring harm to ourselves. We must forgive others and remember how the Lord has forgiven us for much as well.

Keeping our hearts clean of offense protects our relationship with God and allows Him the place He already exists and belongs in, the seat of judgement.

I sat with the Lord one day and discussed with Him again an issue that took place several years back. I wanted to know if He was going to do something to correct it.. to correct those involved and wondered why He had not already done something (at least to my knowledge).

And He gently told me, with no air of condemnation at all, that my continual bringing up the issue revealed something in my heart that needed to be corrected. I then realized I had not fully forgiven and released those involved in the hurt that was caused to others and myself.

Here is a video on finally letting go of what you might need to let go of in order to find your release from a self-made prison within your mind and thoughts.

Why do we place the same pressure and demands on ourselves when we are treading hard waters?

Why do we think it is a realistic notion to run at a pace we once had prior to that life interruption?

And why do we not give ourselves grace when life has suddenly become unbearable?

One thing I quickly learned about myself is that when the stress and pressure builds around me, I feel I must push harder and keep going strong. Yet, within my soul and heart I can barely do the normal things that need to get done.

Maybe it is human nature, maybe it is our American culture of remaining ambitious and strong in our pursuits or maybe we, as a culture, have found a coping mechanism to deal with what follows a crisis.

Remaining busy.

We cannot offer ourselves grace when we have not seen many provide us an example of what that looks like. Too many of us are not only hard on ourselves, but we are also negative towards ourselves.

So how will being kind and caring for ourselves have chance to come into play?

I had to teach myself to slow down, to heal, to rest and to offer myself grace in times of intense difficulty. And I am still learning this.

Oftentimes we struggle with guilt for taking a break. And how many of you reading this find it hard to include a full Sabbath rest into your week?

Let us begin to give ourselves permission to live differently than our culture, to take needed rest days and to step away from the grind when life is challenging. Let us give ourselves grace without shame, or guilt or any negative self-talk that says we should rather be hard on ourselves instead.

I believe that caring for our body, a temple of the Holy Spirit, honors God. When we allow ourselves to rest, heal and to recharge, we will find our cups overflowing again. We will serve better with clearer hearts and minds, whole and healed.

But first, we have to offer ourselves grace to do so.

 

Life has plenty of unexpected events happening within it and often we allow those crises to keep us off track and we never get back on.Maybe it is just human nature, but why we allow things to knock us down and keep us down is baffling. I believe it’s an unhealthy mentality that we need to do all things perfectly, and when they don’t remain that way we fall into believing that we are not cut out to live as we desire. Yet, that is a lie.

In this video, I share how I work on getting back on track with my healthy routines and habits, family and work life and my pursuit of God. I have learned that the key is to start again as many times as you need no matter what life throws at you. There’s a time for grace to rest and heal and recoup, and then there is a time to get back on that horse again.

Let this motivate you to develop perseverance and steadfastness in all that you do for the Lord. He is our strength.

There are parts of us that, if we are honest with ourselves, we do not like.

And if we think about it and try and remember the first time we thought that dislike about ourselves, then we can find that the influence to do so was often made by another person in our lives.

Someone poked fun at something about us that we never saw before. Or another made a comment about how we do something in a strange way or what we like and prefer is not what others like and prefer. Before we know it those words have gone deep within us. The evidence of it gaining root in our hearts is seen in us having taken hold of what was said about us negatively and making it our own self-criticism.

What we hopefully gain to learn as we grow older is that a lot of what has been criticized about us and who we are came from someone who wanted to make us feel inferior to them. They pointed something out in us to deflect from their own insecurities they have with themselves.

When I came to understand that what was negatively brought to my attention about myself by another was because that person had an issue and an insecurity to cover up, I started to see that what was being criticized by them, and eventually myself as a result, was actually something that could be seen as a strength of mine.

For example, I was told when I was younger that I was bossy. This made me quiet my voice a lot and doubt when I felt led to share my thoughts and opinions. In truth, however, that criticism of me being bossy would have been better fit to point out instead that I was a natural leader. Or being told that I was too passionate with my beliefs about Christ, instead of being encouraged of my faithfulness and obedience to Him.

Those negative criticisms we have heard about ourselves do not carry weight unless we give them permission to do so. Decide today to silence that critical voice you hear often in your head and instead build yourself up.

If someone chose to tear down a part of you that they said they did not like, lean into why they did not like that part. Is it because it is actually a treasure you have and that they have tried in vain to tarnish out of jealousy?

Maybe your “loud mouth” is really capable of being a great speaker and therefore a gift to be brought to this world. Or your “over the top caring” is really a compassionate and empathetic heart that is greatly needed in this time.

Do not let others twist how you see yourself anymore. Let God show you what He put in you and how He made you for His Kingdom and glory. It will not surprise me that what you hate most about yourself, is exactly what God made as a part of you that He wants to use to reach the world.

One of the greatest lies I have had to tackle within my heart is the lie that I was not worthy or had no value or was not lovable enough. I have come to discover that many people, both believers and non believers alike, also struggle with this lie.

I have also learned the importance of needing to understand our own worth and value, along with the need to truly love and accept ourselves. This video will help you embark on seeing how you loving yourself can impact your life and those around you immensely. I will continue to expound on this message in my shorts and a blogpost this week as well, so look for those.

Please know that you are valuable, lovable and worth dying for. Our Lord Jesus has already revealed to us our worth in His act of going on the cross for us. May your heart gain a real understanding of God’s immense love for you!

Last Fall I ran a half marathon.

It was hosted in a nearby town from where I live.

It wasn’t a highly advertised race, but because it was close to where I live and it was taking place at a time that I was wanting to run a half marathon, I signed up.

I trained well for this race, having already run a half marathon and a full marathon before years prior. The difference this time around, a part from being older now, was that I had recovered from a slight knee injury and fully made it through my healing journey with trauma therapy.

I ran stronger than I had ever run in my training. I felt calm. I felt ready to run this race.

Saturday morning of the race I felt excitement and some nerves. The weather was a nice cool temperature, but it was also drizzling with rain. Hopefully, there would not be any heavy showers or thunder and lightning.

My husband drove me to the race. He was more than willing to be my cheerleader for this event as he had been before. Upon arriving to the race, however, we quickly noticed not a lot of cars in the parking lot designated for the race.

I thought it might have been cancelled because of the weather.

Yet, there were a few participants walking around and some even warming up.

My husband and I walked up to the only table around and asked the ladies behind it if this was the right location for the half marathon along with the 5k, 10k and 15k. They responded with an affirmative. With not a lot of people around we then asked how many present were running the half marathon.

After a quick look at their list of participants they looked up and said, “One.” That was obliviously myself. Another lady had signed up but did not show for the race. The others we saw prepping for the race were signed up to run the other shorter distances.

We smiled and walked away from the sign in table. And after looking at my husband in surprise of this information, I quickly felt all the excitement drain from my body only to be replaced by nerves.

It ended up being a really good experience.

The few of us that were in the race encouraged one another each lap we took to get to the distance we had committed to run. I ran as strong as I would if others had been running the same half marathon with me, maybe even stronger knowing I was the only one running it. My husband cheered me on, the ladies who were at the table, now timing the runners, were at the finish line also cheering us on. And at one time, my husband had the joy of running a part of the race with me to encourage me on. As the time passed by that drizzly morning, each runner finished their own race and I was able to watch some of them walk towards their cars as they did. But I kept running.

Then I finished, finally coming in last and first for this half marathon.

It felt good. It felt strange. It was done.

The ladies told me since I came in first place that I could go online, fill out a quick form and ask for my first place metal. I finally did about a month after that event. My husband encouraged me to do so and feeling a bit silly, having been the only one to run my category, I completed the form.

My first place metal came to me in the mail. I won a half marathon!

That whole experience reminded me of the races we run in this life. Running after a reward promised us in Heaven, as Paul shares in the NT. And it can feel like we are a solo runner in our race at times. Others may have dropped out before it even began, while others have only committed to part of the race.

But if we have been trained by the Lord to run a harder race, to run it alone and to do so watching others finish early and walk away, we can trust that He remains on the sidelines continuing to cheer us on until we complete what we set out to do. And like my husband, it is never beneath our Lord to step in to run alongside of us for encouragement and strength as well.

The race is still worth running it even if you run it alone.

This has definitely been long overdue! I always wanted to provide you all a tour of our unconventional tiny home and today I get to do that.

Showing you our container home and some of the build of it as well. Make sure to watch all the way through.

And enjoy!

We are being tested within the trials we are faced with. These trials will provoke our flesh to want to take over, leaving behind the desire to honor and obey the Lord.

When you feel your flesh being provoked, recognize what is going on and understand the temptation before you.

Remaining still, remaining silent and choosing instead to either retreat or go and meet with the Lord will be a good response instead of giving in to what you feel you want to do.

We are forged in the fire of these trials and our hearts are being tested. That is their purpose.

And when our flesh surfaces a lie we believe, an impure motive we have or a need to act on our feelings instead of surrendering to the Lord, then we can take these things and lay them at the feet of the Lord.

Allow the Lord to prune you, to mold you and to reestablish you in Him.

Let the growth of your character take place.

Where you once responded hastily in the past, choose to move slower now. Where you allowed anything and whatever to leave your lips, choose to yield your tongue to the Spirit.

And meet with God daily.

Within the trial it becomes a process of taking one day at a time. And so choose each day to be committed to the righteous path the Lord sets before you.

Do not let yourself become overwhelmed, but focus on one step at a time through the fire. Lean into the Lord when it becomes hard and ask Him to protect you from the enemy and to deliver you from what the enemy tempts you with.

It is within these trials where our flesh becomes weak and we truly have to depend on the Lord to make it through.

But it is in the dependence of the Lord fully that our spirit is strengthened and we learn to live in alignment with His voice.

Don’t lose yourself in this trial. Remain in Him and trust that He is walking alongside of you each step of the way.

a chat with Amanda…

Seasonal depression impacts a lot of people, but could there be other factors making individuals feel worse than they need to? In this video, I will be exploring what we can look at and assess in regards to our feeling down and blue.

I have noticed patterns in my own life that triggers my mood and pulls me towards feeling depressed. And because I am aware of these patterns, things that work against my mental health, I know what to do to safeguard against being triggered again.

I really hope this video brings insight to your struggle and helps you discover the patterns in your own life that work against you. And may you be encouraged to make choices that will help you in the long run. Blessings!