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Can the brain abandon old habits?

Yes, it most definitely can.

I have personally found, though, that it is easier to create a new habit rather than working on breaking a bad habit.

For example, I tried for years to quit drinking soda, a horrible habit I had that I wanted to end. I set up my own personal rules with when I was allowed to have a soda and when I was not. I tried limiting myself to so many soda’s in the week. I tried stopping cold turkey. All of this to no avail.

When I tried to keep away from a bad habit, my thoughts were still focused on it. And just that alone was only reinforcing the habit in my brain.

Then I heard from somewhere that the trick was focusing my brain on a new habit rather than working on abandoning a bad one.

I put this wisdom to the test and trained my mind to focus on developing a new habit instead, and my experience proved successful.

In order to break my soda habit, I told myself regularly that I was developing a new habit of drinking unsweet iced tea (which I really do enjoy drinking). I then told myself during the same times I would normally think about drinking a soda, that I would love to have an iced tea.

I would not allow my brain to move towards having thoughts of drinking a soda or even thoughts of not drinking a soda. If I did allow even my mind to dwell on the lack of soda drinking, then again I would find myself really craving one.

I then brought this new thought into other times and events that I would normally crave a soda. The hardest places of course were at restaurants eating my favorite foods. Before even walking into the eating establishment, however, I would put my mind onto the unsweet iced tea that I would soon be enjoying.

It worked!

I had trained my mind to crave a much healthier beverage at these different times and places and it became easier to keep to my new habit each time. I was intentionally choosing to reinforce the new habit rather than avoiding a bad habit.

I also have a habit tracker system on my phone. This gives me the reward of accomplishment as I learn a new habit. I will talk more about this system in my next Helpful Tip I share on social media!

“For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.”  Romans 5:19 NIV

As believers in Christ we have something amazing; we have a new identity!

This comes in handy when battling shame. 

Because to overcome shame, which is an encompassing of the entire self (or simply put: incorrectly identifying ourselves and who we are with what bad event happened to us, or what we have done we are ashamed of), we need to have faith that in Christ we get an opportunity to see ourselves in a new light.

Jesus came to the earth to bring salvation and new life. 

“.. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  John 10:10b NASB

He came to take on our sin, our pain, and our shame.

However, He does not stop there. He then gifts us with new life, redemption, and a new identity in Him. 

We are meant to embrace this new identity and to allow it to transform how we see ourselves. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!”  2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

If you struggle with shame and shamed based thoughts, then you can overcome through learning who you are in Him. This takes work by studying the Bible, meditating on verses that instruct us how to think in regards to our new identity, and a determination to believe by faith what the Lord has already done in our hearts.

A lot of Christians fail at understanding that, although their actions and words today may not reflect who they really are as a new creation, they still need to work towards stepping into that new identity by allowing their mind to be renewed through the Holy Spirit and God’s Word.

This renewing process of the mind is a huge part of the sanctification process:  being set apart as holy unto the Lord.

We must on a daily basis live out of our new identity, rather than live out of how we feel or our shame. 

We live as though we are already made new and made righteous, because we are. A lot of the times we live out of are old nature and forget our true identity. It takes a striving in Him with His strength to live up to who we have already become in Christ. 

This is much like a civilian becoming royalty. It takes time for them to learn how to live out their new role and identity. It does not happen overnight, there is a work to be done in the mind to learn what royalty thinks and behaves like.

You have been adopted into God’s family through His Son, and now you are learning how to live as an adopted son/daughter. Let God renew your mind so much that your brain and heart recognize and live up to the new identity that Jesus has given us. 

And let go of your shame.

One habit that I returned to my scheduling routine is adding in time estimation of each task I need to do.

I was having difficulty getting in all of my work and household chores within the hours that I allotted myself to work. 

Although I planned out my day in advance the evening beforehand, I was still running short on time in trying to accomplish every bit of it. I found myself often pushing tasks into the next day.

I was starting to get frustrated. 

In my frustration and through a convenient conversation I had with my husband, I remembered a neat trick that I used to do years ago, but had forgotten all about.

My memory came back to me mid conversation with my husband who was discussing his satisfaction of having estimated correctly beforehand the work hours on a few landscaping projects. 

If he estimates incorrectly, then he would have no choice but to work over the time he was being paid for. This resulted in the client getting free work hours from him because of his incorrect projection of how long a job would take him.

For example, if he projected a job would take 3 hours and it really took him 4 hours, then he would lose an hour of paid time.

I thought through his example he unintentionally laid before me and realized that I was NOT even estimating how long something would take me when I planned out my day.

I took to my to do list with the time estimation in mind and projected how long each individual task it would take for me to get through. I even included time of exercising and getting ready for the day.

I then tallied up the time and marked how many hours it would take me to get everything on my list accomplished. 

This helped me with refraining from putting too many big tasks down for one day, which I am prone to do. 

It helped me visually see my day better, and gave me a more realistic frame of mind of how long it actually takes me to do tasks that for some reason I thought I only needed five minutes for. (Not true, most tasks take me longer because of my issue with perfectionism and my random inclusion of another task that was like the first task. In other words, I easily distract myself with things I should not be doing! Who can relate?)

This mapping out my day through estimating how long each task will take me also helped me not become overwhelmed and anxious about getting things done. It gave me a sense of control over my day and I was able to trust my own to do list.

Now, some tasks, such as new ones not done before, are harder to make time estimations on. That is definitely okay, because we can give ourselves elbow room as we plan our day around that new task. And if we finish early, then we can take a well needed break.

My husband always reminds me to plan flexibility in my day a well. That will have to be for another blog article. 🙂

Try this out for yourself! See if this helps you plan your time more wisely and not become too wrapped up in your lengthy to do lists.

In my last video I confessed to being a sugar addict and I was very serious about that confession.

I know myself, I know how hard it was for me to make a decision to leave added sugars behind, and I know that any addiction our brain has developed will take a rewiring of it to bring change.

In order for me to work on my sugar addiction and to break free from it, I needed to retrain how I thought about sugar. I did this through relearning what sugar actually does to the body if consumed way too much.

The more I learned the toxicity of sugar, the more I was growing stronger in my conviction to stay away from it. 

And anytime I had the temptation to grab a sugary soda or snack, I would review over the new research I just learned about sugar. 

This took an effort of me doing a little research every single day until the cravings for sugar started to cease. 

For three weeks straight, at the start of my leaving sugar behind challenge, I watched either a Ted Talk or another individual’s testimony of the importance of getting rid of sugar from our diets. (I am a visual learner, so some of these videos were very helpful for me and easy to digest!)

I still sometimes do research on this topic, to keep myself reminded of why I made this decision, and it continues to just reinforce my decision.

I also keep my mind focused on the healthy options for food.

This focus on what I can give my body takes away from any focus on what I cannot eat. I enjoy healthy food more and more and find simple delicious recipes that are nutritious and fun.

This pattern of leaving behind any addiction can be applied here. It is all in choosing to rewire your brain about whatever it is you are leaving behind. Support from others and an occasional cheer along the way also helps.

From my own experience of going through very tough moments in life, I have learned the value of understanding that my sometimes loud emotions in response to whatever happened can get in the way of me hearing the Lord.Especially if what I experienced was overwhelming to me.

At these moments, whenever I would sit still, my emotions would feel like they were draped upon my shoulders insisting on being a burden for me to have.

Emotions, good and bad, are not wrong to have. 

If it is anger or sorrow that is clouding your mind, holding you back from finding respite in the Lord, then allow these emotions to process in a healthy way. 

Healthy ways to process such overwhelming emotions can look like writing what you feel or journaling, creating something you enjoy, going on walks, and even talking out loud to the Lord of what you are feeling while not holding back in being honest with Him. 

The times I come before the Lord and find myself feeling stuck, where I cannot move into prayer and praise or studying His Word, I ask the Holy Spirit to help me process what is going on inside of my heart.

Challenging events in our lives can leave us with conflicting emotions or layered emotions. I have often sat at the foot of my bed not understanding the emotions I was feeling. 

And in time, as I pushed to work through what I was feeling I would finally be able to articulate what was going on inside of me. 

I believe this is why the enemy will come to bring even more confusion in these times. We are desperately trying to sort out what is going on within us and he just adds fuel to the fire, making us feel worse and confused.

Pushing through to hear the voice of God is extremely important at this point. You might not hear Him on day one, or even day two and three, but pursue Him anyways and ask Him to help you hear what He is saying.

We want to hear His voice and place significance on it over our own voice and any other voice that has come to distract and pull us away from the Lord.

I have had multiple instances where the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to cry it all out. I always fight Him on this and I know better. Crying it out allows us to feel the unwanted pain, yet once the tears flow the pain can then be released into His hands.

Now I find myself asking God to grace me to shed tears, to work through my pain, and to then bring me His comfort and healing.

And according to the depth of pain that we have, these moments of processing through the pain can be a process. It is not always over in one night of tissues strewn across our bedroom floors, the pain might return again.

And if it does, see it as an invitation of the Holy Spirit to bring you into more healing by Him.

If the pain is too overwhelming, do not hesitate to seek out a friend you can trust and/or a good counselor. 

I pray and speak healing to each heart that is reading this article in the name of Jesus.

Perhaps you have scraps of paper floating within your purse with accomplishments to be tackled.

Or is your desk drawer hiding those lists in which you had the best of intentions on getting them done?

If a list is long gone by now, yet you come across it in search of something else, then it is best that the hidden to do list was never tackled.

I say that because if you have forgotten about it, then what you had put on that list did not hold much value or priority for you.

I have come across a list or two to my surprise and after reading it realized that what I had set out to do was not what I really needed to focus on at that time.

One time I found a list of goals that I had written inside of a small notebook that went unnoticed for several years. It brought me joy to reminisce with what I wanted to do in that season of life.

And then I decided to choose some of those goals and add them into my current running list, finding that these still were applicable for me.

If you find a to do list or a set of goals that you have allowed to be hidden, then as you read through it ask yourself why this list got lost in the first place.

Maybe it was just the act of writing out what you needed to do that helped you sleep better that night. Or that what you put on this list was not realistic for you to do.

Either way, find the priority in what you wrote to yourself and determine what things on this list actually do need your attention.

Is a task you always wanted to get done now at the forefront of your mind? Is a dream written years ago now revived? Or can things that were once important now come to their end and be allowed to be forgotten?

We all have lost to do lists somewhere. It is normal and human for us to find ourselves so unorganized. 

Let me encourage you today, however, to learn how to keep a to do list and/or goal list that will not be forgotten or hidden.

It happens to us all, even the highest of achievers that you know. There are moments where we do not feel like doing what we know we should be doing.

There is this dialogue in our heads as we hear the alarm clock going off. Should we get out of bed and start our day in this early hour as we planned to do, or do we hit the snooze button and turn back towards our pillow?

Having a disciplined lifestyle is not easy. It is hard work. 

There are several walls we have to climb over to get to a mental space where we begin to follow through with our own promises to ourselves, and one of those walls is overcoming our emotions.

When we set off to conquer the world, we begin with great excitement and determination.

We are doing so well on day one to follow through with our new exercise plan and actually putting up the laundry all clean and folded. Then day two goes fairly well. We accidentally slept past our alarm and still somehow managed to do all we set out to do.

Then the third day comes, or for some of the lucky ones this day doesn’t come until a week or so later, but that “day” does come.

We wake up and we do not feel like keeping to our commitment of a disciplined life. And then the days following that awful day of defeat are followed by days of continual surrender to our own comfort and human desires.

Let me encourage you with something. 

If you have a “I just don’t feel like it..” day, then allow that day to come and go, but refuse to let it derail you from what you really want to do and be. 

Our emotions get the best of us at times and that is totally normal, we are human.

The key is whether or not we allow that emotionally driven day to conquer all our days afterwards. Many people give up on creating discipline in their lives because they have an all or nothing mentality.

You cannot live in that sort of mindset. Perfectionists do this all the time to themselves. They tell themselves if their choices are not perfect and they slip up, then it is over. They should just throw in the towel of defeat and give up on creating healthy habits in their lives.

No one is perfect.

When I have a day where I give into my emotions and do less than I would like to have done for that day, I choose to reset my mind and let the next new day be the day I get back on the horse.

I allow myself grace for the days I do not make the best choices and I forgive myself. I do not allow my thoughts to fall into a pit of failure, and I definitely refuse to identify myself with failure.

And when the disciplined behavior is a new one for us, our emotions will fight against this change hard. So to combat our emotions, we must become more determined in our own will to do what we set out to do. We must allow our will to override how we feel in the moment of doing the action.

There are tricks we can come up with to help us override our emotions. We can decide to place our alarm outside of our bedroom so we won’t be so quick to hit the snooze button, for example.

Tell yourself that you will more than likely not feel like doing what you really want to do. I know, it seems strange. We have a free will, but we also have our brain and body. We have to learn, by our determined will, to ignore the protest cries of our emotional thoughts and feelings and do what we must.

Once we get past this wall, knowing our emotions will fight against us, we will find ourselves not so easily distracted and move on with our preferred disciplined action. In short, learn to ignore your emotions when they try and get in the way of what you have already decided by your will to do.

If you search throughout the Bible you will see acts of obedience to God that were not easy and simple. A lot of those steps were filled with pain, but nonetheless the will of the Lord was followed through.

Hannah is no exception to this. Her following through with her vow to God to give Him her son had to be extremely painful indeed. Her act of obedience cost her dearly, yet she had a heart filled with praise and worship after she obeyed. And as a result of her obedience we have the prophet Samuel that was used to lead God’s people and anoint future kings.

We see the heart of God when He calls for obedience over sacrifice throughout His word. And I am confident that His desire for our obedience to Him is great because it reveals our hearts for Him. Jesus himself says, “if you love me, you will obey me.”

Moses was directed by God to save His people out of Egypt, no easy task that undoubtedly tore at his heart at different times.

Abraham was told to give up Isaac to the Lord to prove his faithfulness to God, and that day most definitely ripped his heart to pieces before he found relief that it was a test.

Numerous prophets of God were called to speak His word in the face of persecution, death and rejection from the people of God.

And we cannot forget our Lord Jesus, who walked out extremely painful steps of obedience throughout his ministry here on earth, all the way up to the cross. 

All of these responses to obey the Lord were met with angst, grief and sometimes despair.

When I think back on my own life, I can definitely pinpoint specific callings to obey the Lord being met with some level of pain. Sometimes the pain was battling my own flesh, my want for comfort and not difficulty. Other times the pain was heartbreaking from the steps of obedience, such as moving abroad and away from dear family and friends. Pain was also involved in walking out His plans for my life that resulted with me sacrificing a personal dream or desire. 

Pain in obedience is not a bad thing, however. It is hard to push through when pain is involved, but the rewards of following through with a commitment to obey God is always worth the struggle.

Choosing to obey the Lord reflects a heart that trusts Him in the calling, that knows He has a plan greater than we can imagine, and it is a good plan. It is believing that God works things out for our good and His purposes in the end, which are holy, just and righteous.

The pain is the result of us choosing to die to our flesh, our sinful nature and human desires, in order to see God’s will be followed through in us and around us. 

Do not let a call with painful obedience hold you back from following through. The Lord is not out to crush and destroy us. The pain is temporary as this life is temporary, but our acts of love to God are always met with, “well done, good and faithful servant.” 

Hannah finds herself in an unbroken cycle. 

Each year that her husband, Elkanah, takes his family up to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord, Peninnah, Elkanah’s other wife and Hannah’s rival, provokes Hannah to tears. 

And each year that Peninnah reminds Hannah of her closed womb, Hannah responds by allowing it to bring her to a place of such misery that she refuses to eat and refuses to be consoled by their husband Elkanah.

We do not know how many years this scene played out for Hannah, except to read that it was the same pattern that happened year after year. And every year Hannah would allow her rival to keep her in her misery.

If you find yourself in an unbroken cycle, repeating the same unwise decisions often or wallowing in your pity and defeated circumstances, then it is time to look into why this is happening.

God’s heart for each of us is to grow and mature in Him. And in order for us to grow and mature as He desires, we will be taken through the same testings and trials with different scenarios perhaps, over and over again.

Whenever I find myself in a very familiar test, instead of coming into agreement with the repetitive story line, I choose to reflect and ask the Lord some much needed questions.

I want to know God’s heart for me when He witnesses my unsuccessful attempts at breaking free. I have come around this bend before and I do not want to repeat my same mistakes. 

I grapple with self doubt questioning if breaking the cycle is for me. Maybe I deserve to remain in this rut, to continue to suffer repeatedly, and to comfortably choose that this is the life for me.

Jesus, however, has told us that He came to give us life and to give it abundantly. So in honoring our free will, the Lord steps aside to see what we will choose to do with His promises He has already given us in His Word. 

Will we believe Him? Will we agree to allow Him to break our unending cycles? Or shall we just lower our heads shuffling forward, refusing to catch sight of another way through this terrain? 

Breaking unending cycles in our lives is possible. We see evidence of this in the lives of believers in the Bible, we see evidence of others breaking free of their own cycles around us, but why is it so difficult to believe that we are capable of having great faith to break free from our own repetitive patterns?

As we read in the first chapter of 1 Samuel, we see how Hannah breaks free of her unending cycle of torment from Peninnah by running to the Lord. Perhaps, that is a step of obedience we can do ourselves.

I challenge you to run to the Lord with your life patterns needing interruption and plead with Him to move on your behalf. Listen to what He tells you. He will provide action steps and help along the way, but we need to remain determined to follow through with everything He says.

For Hannah her greatest rival happens to live in close proximity to herself, for her rival is Peninnah, the other wife of her husband Elkanah. Hannah’s rival is sadly within her own family.

How many of us find ourselves battling a rival within as well? Within the walls of our churches, in our workplaces, or, much like Hannah, within our own families?

A rival that close has to be exhausting to put up with. To find the peace and solace that you are looking for seems almost impossible while another individual is set on competing with you. 

I can only imagine how Hannah must have felt. None of us who find ourselves dealing with a personality that unceasingly provokes or taunts us, has invited this rival into our lives. And for Hannah, I am pretty certain that she did not want to find herself competing for the affection and love of her husband, but there she was, a victim of another’s jealous behavior.

How should we respond to those that behave this way?

Rivals are nothing more than bullies. They want to feel significant and do so through exerting power over another person.

The best way to deal with a bully is to not give them the satisfaction they are looking for. They want to get under your skin and move you to tears. They find a perverse satisfaction in causing harm to feel important.

The best way to respond to a rival and bully, is to not give them this sick satisfaction. It is in your best interest to ignore this behavior and see it as it is. 

If I could talk with Hannah today, I would tell her the same thing. I would tell her to ignore Peninnah’s taunting and to see past the bullying into a heart that bleeds insecurity and a need for significance. 

I would encourage Hannah to respond in kindness, love and forgiveness. 

I would encourage her to continue to trust and wait on the Lord instead, shifting her focus from the negative attention she is getting to the character and faithfulness of God.

When rivals are found within our circles, or even our tight circles, it becomes more challenging to find an escape from the provoking. The constant barrage of mistreatment can weigh us down and discourage us from the hope of it ever stopping. 

Although we cannot control the words and actions of others, as much as we would want to, we can control how we respond. Reminding ourselves that we have just as much free will to respond in a righteous way as they do in their choice to sin against us, places the power back into our hands.

God has given both the taunter and the victim free will. 

Sure the bully hurts and provokes us, but we have the freedom to ignore, to walk away, to forgive, and to not give them the satisfaction of getting to us. If we allow the provoking to anger us, we are playing into their power trip and they win.

Rise above the rival’s games. See them as they are. They are revealing their heart to you when they bully you. 

Be wise, be discerning, be kind, forgive and walk away. Eventually they will grow tired of you refusing to play their game.