A huge lesson that the Lord continues to have me learn is being aware that I always have a choice in every situation I find myself in.
I struggled to take ownership of my own free will in specific areas of my life where I felt I had no control, while others or something else did.
I would find myself, for example, in a job feeling disillusioned and stuck. I would be miserable and downright depressed because of my situation and still I would not take ownership of the choice I was making to stay in that job.
It took me a long time, longer than I liked to admit, to learn that I always had control to stay in such life challenging situations or make decisions that resulted in their change.
And when I did find myself feeling “stuck” it was often motivated by a deep rooted fear within me.
I feared the consequences of my decision to try and get “unstuck”. I feared the opinions of others and the possible rebuke from a non understanding friend or acquaintance.
And recently, I have learned how feeling stuck within a relationship can be resolved with setting healthy boundaries.
To get out of a job you dislike and that is tormenting you can involve a few steps. Work on your resume, seek out another job that hires you, and put in your two weeks notice with the current horrible job.
Now if the job you feel stuck in involved a ton of investment and years of faithfulness on your part, the choosing to seek another job is a much more difficult and gut wrenching choice, but a choice that is still yours to freely make.
Relationships are a bit trickier and I am sure you will agree with me on this one.
Some relationships we can put an end to if the situation has become unhealthy and toxic, while other relationships, such as a marital one or a family member, we have to find our way out of the “stuck” situation in a more wiser way.
And as I mentioned above, using healthy boundaries within those challenging relationships will be your best solution to begin feeling “unstuck” again.
If the other party is being disrespectful or hurtful to you, you have the choice to not receive their behavior. You can walk away until they respect you within a conversation. You can inform them that you will not be treated the way they are treating you and, thus, you are setting a boundary line. If they cross that line, the relationship cannot be as they would like.
A lie that likes to find its way into my head is believing that I do not have a choice in a situation.
When I recognize that I am holding onto this lie, I know it is time to rethink what is running through my mind.
We always have a choice. God has given us the gift of free will. When we use our free will to pull ourselves out of unwanted and harmful situations, we are honoring what God has given us.
There are plenty of well written books on this subject of setting healthy boundaries within relationships. I encourage you to research one for yourself to read and then to apply boundary setting in your life if needed.
Do not allow yourself to believe the lie that you are “stuck” and you cannot get out. This is not true. It most likely will take great courage to set boundaries in a difficult or even abusive relationship, but find that courage and strength in the Lord and use your right to choose.
