It has been brought to my attention by a dear sweet friend that the idea of self care has been moved into a category of simply doing whatever you feel is right for you and that feels good for you.
All over social media there are voices that encourage self care, and there is nothing wrong with the idea of taking time to care for yourself. We need to step back and care for ourselves, this is healthy and right.
However, the suggestions and hints of self care also involving choices made in the name of “self care” that actually produce more harm to us rather than good is what we need to be careful of.
What do I mean by this?
When you make a choice to allow yourself indulgence of a habit that is not good for you as a whole, then labeling this “self care” contradicts the idea of what self care is about.
Saying to yourself, ‘I deserve this’, ‘I need to care for myself in this way’, but deep down inside you know that you should not be participating in whatever it is that you feel is right for you, is not a healthy way of caring for yourself.
In fact, the opposite is taking place. What some deem as “self care” is in fact “self harm”.
Why as believers have we come to a place where we think it is okay to follow our culture’s rhythm by agreeing that a certain activity or choice is right for us?
Who are we fooling? God? Ourselves? Others?
We are fooling no one, but ourselves.
Self care is choosing to believe you have great worth and value. It’s believing that you are loved unconditionally by your Father in Heaven and it’s making choices that reflect these beliefs in your heart.
When I got wind of some believers feeling justified in their decision to stay away from church as a point of self care, I felt grieved. They made this decision because they were hurt by some in the church or they experienced real spiritual abuse in the church.
That pain and grief is not being dismissed when I share this. Church has now become a trigger to that pain and stepping back for a season from attending services is not altogether wrong and bad.
And seeking help for those wounds is important.
However, allowing those wounds to be the drive behind making a decision in the name of “self care” to never attend church again is not healthy.
I have stepped away from attending church at different seasons in my life because I was working through such wounds, but the church is not the problem.
Christ desires us to come together and be His body. There is actually healing that can take place when you attend a healthy church and surround yourself with mature believers.
And do understand that being a part of a body of believers does not bring you closer to salvation or in good ranking with the Lord. It is a choice made as a result of understanding salvation comes by faith alone and understanding who you are in Christ. And recognizing the Lord has plans for you to be a vital part of His body in service to Him.
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”
1 Corinthians 12:27
When we talk about self care, I think it is important to place that even on the altar.
We need the guidance of the Holy Spirit with how to truly care for ourselves. We need His correction when we are just being immature or selfish in our pursuit of self care, and we need to always seek to honor the Lord in these decisions.
If you need to step away from commitments or just the busyness of life because you are exhausted and feel burnout, then take time to rest and heal and recalibrate the pace of your life. And ask the Lord to help you live a more balanced life where you are not always drawn to making extreme decisions in the name of self care.
There is a need for godly wisdom as we navigate what’s broadcasted before us on any type of media. Any trend that leads you to make choices that contradict what is taught us in the Word of God, is not a trend that you should be a part of.
We are to pursue righteousness and holiness in Him, and as my friend shared with me, not a life that only makes us happy and comfortable. We should strive to put the interests of others above ourselves.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
The life that seeks to please the Lord will not be easy and comfortable at times, but it is a life that brings us joy and freedom and true peace.
God knows what is best for us more than we know ourselves. He wants us to care for ourselves, but not at the cost of hurting our relationship with Him, others and ourselves.