For Hannah her greatest rival happens to live in close proximity to herself, for her rival is Peninnah, the other wife of her husband Elkanah. Hannah’s rival is sadly within her own family.
How many of us find ourselves battling a rival within as well? Within the walls of our churches, in our workplaces, or, much like Hannah, within our own families?
A rival that close has to be exhausting to put up with. To find the peace and solace that you are looking for seems almost impossible while another individual is set on competing with you.
I can only imagine how Hannah must have felt. None of us who find ourselves dealing with a personality that unceasingly provokes or taunts us, has invited this rival into our lives. And for Hannah, I am pretty certain that she did not want to find herself competing for the affection and love of her husband, but there she was, a victim of another’s jealous behavior.
How should we respond to those that behave this way?
Rivals are nothing more than bullies. They want to feel significant and do so through exerting power over another person.
The best way to deal with a bully is to not give them the satisfaction they are looking for. They want to get under your skin and move you to tears. They find a perverse satisfaction in causing harm to feel important.
The best way to respond to a rival and bully, is to not give them this sick satisfaction. It is in your best interest to ignore this behavior and see it as it is.
If I could talk with Hannah today, I would tell her the same thing. I would tell her to ignore Peninnah’s taunting and to see past the bullying into a heart that bleeds insecurity and a need for significance.
I would encourage Hannah to respond in kindness, love and forgiveness.
I would encourage her to continue to trust and wait on the Lord instead, shifting her focus from the negative attention she is getting to the character and faithfulness of God.
When rivals are found within our circles, or even our tight circles, it becomes more challenging to find an escape from the provoking. The constant barrage of mistreatment can weigh us down and discourage us from the hope of it ever stopping.
Although we cannot control the words and actions of others, as much as we would want to, we can control how we respond. Reminding ourselves that we have just as much free will to respond in a righteous way as they do in their choice to sin against us, places the power back into our hands.
God has given both the taunter and the victim free will.
Sure the bully hurts and provokes us, but we have the freedom to ignore, to walk away, to forgive, and to not give them the satisfaction of getting to us. If we allow the provoking to anger us, we are playing into their power trip and they win.
Rise above the rival’s games. See them as they are. They are revealing their heart to you when they bully you.
Be wise, be discerning, be kind, forgive and walk away. Eventually they will grow tired of you refusing to play their game.