Listening to a wounded heart well can be learned.
An individual that is trying to open up to you about a hurt they received is important for you to take notice.
They are choosing to trust you with their pain. They regard you as a trustworthy individual that they can turn to for help.
A lot of us are intimidated to be that individual that a hurting person turns to for help, and that is because we do not understand what they really need and we feel inadequate to know how to help them.
More often than not, these hurting individuals want to be heard. They want their pain to be validated and they want someone to share in their grief with them.
Romans 12:15 tells us we are to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice.
However, if we do not know how to mourn with those that are mourning, then we are unable to step into this truth.
I strongly believe that a huge part of mourning with those who are mourning or are grieving, is learning to listen to them and to sit with them.
There is not a lot for us to do when we sit with a wounded heart. The fixing of their heart is not our responsibility, that is the burden of the Lord.
When listening to this individual, listen intently and with compassion and empathy.
Do not allow yourself to be distracted as they are speaking with you. And do not hurry them as they share with you.
If time is not on your side, set a specific time with them where you are able to give them your full attention and time. And share that with them. This will show them that you truly care about them and what they have to share with you.
Listening does not involve offering up your opinion or a solution.
It does involve caring and loving this person and finding a love for them that comes from the Lord.
I try and remind myself when I have the opportunity to listen to someone else’s story, how others have listened to me and shown me great love.
If culturally appropriate, make eye contact while they are sharing with you. And repeat to them what you have heard from them, in order to make sure you are hearing them correctly.
And if you are asked for your opinion or advice, this is your invitation to provide that, yet do not be pressured to have an answer for them. It is okay not to know an answer.
Always offer to pray with this individual, bringing them before the Lord and their pain as well and asking God to heal them.