At two different times in separate seasons, my husband and I were called off the mission field back to the States.
And both times were for the same reason, because of my mental health.
This morning I was reflecting on our latest stint abroad and was remembering that in this very month last year we had just flown back. It is hard to believe that it has already been a year since our return.
Once we returned, a lot of different things happened that quickly pulled our attention away from our reality of re-entering back into our home culture and processing that return. So I was not surprised that my brain began bringing up those memories of our return now that it had been one full year.
I watched the second season trailer of The Chosen, a wonderful and beautifully done series on the life and ministry of Jesus. In that trailer the ministry of Jesus triggered in my heart the grief of us having to walk away from our ministry for Him in both Southeast Asia and East Asia.
The tears poured. And my conversation with Jesus went like this:
me: “I wanted to serve You.”
Jesus: “And I wanted to heal you.”
me: “But it has always been my desire to serve You as a missionary overseas.”
Jesus: “I called you to follow me… to follow me where I lead you and your husband… to follow me wherever that takes you in this life.”
And then more tears poured followed by a comforting peace that only comes from Him.
If you have had to walk away from an assignment the Lord had previously called you to and grief wells up within you because you miss being a part of that type of work for the Lord, have peace in your heart.
As long as you followed Him and continue to follow Him, then that is reason to allow yourself to be filled with joy that your service to the Lord, though it looks different now than before, has not come to an end and never will.
It is not about what we do for the Lord, for that can change in different seasons of our lives, but it is about continuing to have a heart that still responds to the daily call of Jesus to follow Him wherever that leads.
When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”
John 21:21-22
