If I could go back in time and share one of the most powerful bites of wisdom to my younger self that I have learned the hard way as an adult, I would. And that advice would be: to not allow myself to be pulled down by others and engage with them in their mind games.
Too many times in my life have I been caught completely off guard by people who had wrong motives and tried to hurt and manipulate me by being confusing, unclear with their intentions and covert in how they would passively cause harm.
And it took me longer then it should have to learn that the wrong behavior of others would be hard for me to detect when I, naively believed their kind words spoken to my face instead of believing what their actions were speaking.
Words can be deceptive, but consistent behavior speaks of one’s true intentions.
Wanting to believe the best in others, which I will always do, led me to ignore actions that were clearly revealing a person’s heart. Instead I fell for the honey flowing from their speech.
God is clear in His Word that He looks at the heart of a person in His judgement rather than outward appearances. The heart is behind behavior, not what mask is put before you.
God even rebukes the Israelites for giving Him lip service while their hearts and actions showed they were far from Him.
Clearly we’re not God, but we can learn wisdom from His relationship with Israel. We can make our judgements about others based on their behavior. If someone’s words and actions conflict a lot, then they are playing mind games with us. It’s okay to make that observation in your mind and refuse to engage with what they are doing.
Individuals who manipulate, lie and even gaslight to get their way and control over others play these mind games. And we can simply choose to not participate and ignore what they are doing. They are looking for a reaction from us, so the best response is no reaction.
Believe their behavior, recognize the manipulative game they are playing, do not pick up your game piece and, refusing to play along, walk away.