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In this episode on my mental health journey as a Christian, I am sharing with you more of my own story including how I still struggled with issues despite feeling more whole and living in a safer environment.

I have also taken time to encourage anyone else that is unsettled in their heart with reaching out for their own help with mental health struggles (as well as, a few helpful points as you begin to reach out).

The heart of this vlog is to communicate loudly that there is no shame in seeking help with any mental illness. And especially for believers in Christ, seeking help is a brave decision and reveals a humility that speaks volumes to the Lord and others.

I woke on a Saturday morning to a day planned for rest. I had been ill for two weeks and was beginning to feel better, but not fully myself.

I was growing tired from being sick, honestly. And from the moment I woke up to the time I laid my head back down for another night of sleep, I felt like crying. Yet, I had no idea why. Surely being sick was not the reason behind my wanting to relieve myself of held back tears.

This has definitely happened to me before countless times, and each time I have struggled with what was wrong. This particular time, with my eyes closed to fall asleep, I began to ask myself what it was that I needed rather than what was wrong with me.

Redirecting my question just slightly brought me greater clarity for what was truly bothering me. And I had an answer, several answers in fact.

As I worked through each troubling issue that my heart was holding onto, I slowly felt a nice peace rest on me.

I came to the realization that I had been so consistent with not listening to my mind and body, that I was a master at ignoring my own real needs. And parts of me were literally crying for those needs to be met, thus why at times I would feel the urge to cry without unknown cause.

The more healing that I am receiving from trauma I have experienced, the more I am learning how to steer my attention inward and listen to my soul. It has been through doing this listening activity that my sought after healing has come. Now I am developing a new and healthy habit of learning to be aware of that inner voice more and more.

Now some will read this and think that it is not the right Christian thing to do to get our needs met. They will have a handful of verses to show that we should be selfless, ready to sacrifice our own needs for the sake of others, and deny ourselves consistently.

And I hold onto those verses as well. However, there comes a point when we have pushed down our own personal needs so much that we begin to lose ourselves and lose touch with our own heart and soul. I feel strongly that choosing to meet the needs of others before our own needs should come at the instruction and leading of the Lord. He will enable us to do so and give us His grace as well. Because, yes, there are many times where we are asked and will be asked to be obedient in putting another before ourself.

The balance is learning that we still need to care for ourselves so that we do not come into harm from neglecting what we need.

It is a hard line to walk when there are seasons that we must give ourselves more than normal. Thankfully, God does sustain us in those challenging times.

And then there are seasons where the Lord pulls us to Himself for rest and restoration. And in the in-between times we need to learn the balance of serving others and also caring for ourselves.

As I am learning how to sit still and listen to what my heart and soul are telling me, and I respond with how I will meet each need, my heart is filled with joy. And room to hear the Lord more often and more clearly is made.

God wants our needs to be met. He loves us so much. His heart is for our hearts to be set on Him. He does not demand of us so much that our health is impacted negatively. He is watching with a caring eye.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

If you cannot see the heart of the Lord in this passage of Scripture for you to find rest in Him and to understand that He does not demand as much as we sometimes pressure ourselves into believing He does, then reread it again with an open heart to hear Him speak to you.

And if you are unable to know what needs you might have that you are neglecting, ask the Lord to help you know what those are and make a plan to care for yourself better. When we are filled with Him and are healthy mind, body and soul, then we have so much more to offer not only Him, but others in our lives as well.

Have you asked yourself similar questions to these: “Why we burnout? “What are the burnout symptoms?” “What causes us to burnout?” “Why do I keep burning out?” “How does burnout impact us?” “Why do we experience burnout?”

Then this video will be a helpful tool for you!

Having taken a personal break myself from creating content and social media, I have learned the hard way how to prevent myself from burning out again. And, yes, I have experienced major burnout before in my past and it was a terrifying thing.

In order to protect myself from reaching that intense level of burnout again, I have had to understand why I pushed my brain to burnout in the first place. This video will take a deep dive into reasons why we can end up burning out and offer some helps for preventive measures as well.

I felt an unsettling in my soul towards the end of August. And I felt a longing to pull back and rest and to allow my mind time to restore and heal from so much that has taken place in my personal life.

When Josh and I left Southeast Asia our lives continued at a pace that did not provide me the time to process much of what happened while abroad. And my brain has decided that the holding off of that time to heal has been enough.

Coincidentally (or not), my sessions with my EMDR therapist have turned to our time in Southeast Asia this month. And, although I am grateful to finally face those experiences, I am also aware that those memories, still fresh in my mind, will and have taken a great deal of energy from me to process and heal.

The Lord has shown me some very real promises that He wants to do in my life, yet, my healing from serving the Lord abroad in different parts of Asia need to be taken care of. My choice to courageously face these real traumatic experiences have truly only come from Him. In short, this healing journey, with its ups and downs, has entered into a new territory.

Taking a step back from my work with my online ministry this past month has provided me what I have needed during this time. And it has helped me to realign my own priorities right now as I continue to move forward and continue to heal. Below is my journal entry this morning I wanted to share with you all. If you feel the Lord draw you unto Himself, it is wise to listen and respond. In doing so you will find a gift of deep rest for your soul, your mind and heart.

“I feel the Lord restoring me. He has indeed led me beside quiet waters and has stilled my soul. Rest has been a gift He has given me in this month of September, real and full rest that I have desperately needed.

I feel my Lord Jesus so close to me. His peace and love and joy is contagious! I am so very very thankful for what He has blessed me with this month. It has changed a perspective for me. A deep yearning in me to live out of His rest and peace has grown.

No more being driven with busyness and a need for distractions from my own pain, but rather being drawn to His side and walking in His leading and peace.”

In this fourteenth vlog on my mental health journey as a Christian, I am sharing how the Lord freed me to walk in a spiritual gifting He had placed in me.

I struggled immensely being gifted with a gift that was not widely accepted or taught in the church and sending organization I was a part of.

One of the reasons I battled with depression was not putting myself in the right environment to be my “true” self, the person God made me to be.

May this short testimony encourage many to live with more freedom to walk out fully what God has placed inside of them.

 

There are actually healthy habits that we can put into our routines that will help us fight off depression and improve our mental health. It is not shocking to know that anyone that struggles with their mental health has difficulty living the lives they really want to live.

Executive function becomes a challenge and so we have to train our brains to work out of habit. We do this by going against how we feel in the moment and choosing to follow through with one healthy habit at a time. These simple, yet powerful healthy habits, are the ones I have implemented into my life that are undoubtedly helping me live fully while in the midst of my healing from depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Something changes when your perspective of yourself actually aligns with how God sees you. 

God has been challenging me with seeing myself as He sees me. In fact, the other afternoon He was clearly speaking to me about this. I was surprised to hear Him so vividly.

I felt a strong impression of what He wanted to communicate to me in my soul. It was definitely otherworldly and His presence was almost tangible. 

This interaction between Him and myself began when I was reminding myself that I am His child over and over again. I wanted my subconscious to get it! I wanted this truth to feel so real, so natural and to become second nature.

And that’s when I began to hear God speak to me about myself. 

He was responding to my choice and faith to believe who He says I am in His Word about me. I was not asking Him to show me this or to speak into this, He just simply responded to my hearts cry to know my true nature in Him.

He then told me that my personal vision and desires of accomplishment fell extremely short to what He desires for me. 

All I saw was a desire to make an impact with my online ministry, to be able to reach more hearts with His truth. I want to be successful with this, but whatever that looks like I have no real gauge for. 

God then showed me that the work I put my hands and mind to everyday was not the work He sees me doing. My work, albeit it being ministry, is just a shadow of what He sees me capable of doing. 

God then pulled me out of my tunnel vision to a broader perspective of my how He uses me. He said I was more than just what I did for Him, I was a representer of His glory here on this earth. I am a vessel that He uses to do His plans and purposes, and His Kingdom flows through me wherever I go. 

What I put online, even these words you are reading, are an overflow of what is being poured into me daily. And the same goes for you.

You are more than your job title, more than what you bring to this world. You are more than your role within your family and more than a stranger on the street. You are more than what the world might have labeled you as or perceives you to be. There is so much more to you that the eye cannot physically see.

You are a son of God, a dwelling place of His Spirit. Where your feet take you, there also will God’s presence be. You bring His light into this dark world. And where you go, Jesus goes too.

May the Lord open our understanding to this truth and reality. We are more than what we see in the natural, we have the supernatural within our souls and because of this we are capable of all the Lord leads us to do for Him.

See yourself as a presence that lights up the very spaces you walk into, that drips Heaven’s reality when you pass by. 

See your presence change the hearts around you, as the Lord inhabits your heart and goes before you and behind you.

See how you bring Heaven to earth just by being His. See yourself as God sees you.

On one of my runs the other morning, I found a little roly poly trying to make its way across the broad sidewalk. My dog was with me and she began to sniff the grass as I watched this little critter try and make it to the grass himself.

A lot of feet make their way down this path. And sure enough, when I looked up there was a line of people coming in my direction on their morning walk.

I decided to help this roly poly leave the dangerous sidewalk unscathed, and I also needed to catch my breath from my run as well. But for whatever reason, probably because I was a big human, this pillbug would not crawl up my hand so I could transport it.

So instead, I decided to use my feet to block it from veering back across the wide sidewalk.

It would crawl forward, then I would move my feet in such a way that continued to help it know the safest direction to move in. My actions proved successful when this roly poly finally made his way to the green grass.

Hoping that it was thankful for what I had done for it, I concluded that it was just moving away from my scary large running shoes. This roly poly had no idea that what I was doing for it was actually leading it to safety.

For all I know, he saw me as the greatest threat to his little life that he ever experienced. Where, in reality, I was providing him, or her (I don’t know how to tell the gender of these guys), protection, guidance and literally salvation.

Who does this metaphor bring to mind for you? Well, it brought to my mind the Lord.

How often do we mistaken the protection, salvation and leading of the Lord towards the best for us as an unwanted interruption in our lives and comfort?

How often do we not realize what He has already protected us from as we find ourselves being blocked by His so called “running shoes”? (That would be amazing if Jesus went on runs too!)

Instead we get upset, we get angry, and we want to be the ones in full control believing that crossing a dangerous wide sidewalk is the right way to go.

Trust God as He directs your life. Trust Him as He closes doors that would have caused you harm and leads you to where you do not want to go. His vantage point is exceptional and He can see what is headed your way.

No doubt this roly poly was afraid of me, no doubt he was frustrated that he had to go back the way he came, and no doubt he probably tried to cross that sidewalk once I was out of the way.

Yet, that particular morning, I was reminded how when life’s circumstances appear chaotic or scary, like it did for that little roly poly that day, God is still and always will be in control and looking out for His children.

In this thirteenth vlog on my mental health journey as a Christian, I share with you what I feel was one of my mistakes in this healing process. If I could go back in time, I would have remained with a counselor in that season.

Yet, because of God’s love, kindness and mercy for me, He still provided ways for me to continue to move forward in my healing. My road to recovery has ended up longer as a result of not getting the right help when I needed it the most, but my relationship with God and my dependency on Him has grown more deeply.

Becoming immovable with knowing who you are in the Lord and knowing who He is despite various obstacles we are faced with along our way, is what becoming an overcomer is all about. 

I imagine a wildebeest crossing a dry place in search for water. And all along its journey an annoying bird has decided to mount itself on this animal’s back and join him without choosing to be useful and eat the bugs he sees. Then I imagine at different times flies buzzing around his face as he treads forward slow and steady. 

There soon comes along a few hyenas to try and intimidate this great beast, but he lowers his head, sticks with his herd and continues on undeterred. Water is nowhere in sight, not even a small pool, but this wildebeest remembers how the year before, and the year prior to that, that they always found water. Remembering this and feeling the thirst strengthen within him motivates him to walk on.

Other dangerous obstacles are still ahead, but this brave wildebeest is immovable in what he knows and what he wants to do. 

In our lives we can relate to flies buzzing around our head with their deceptions or the annoying  bird guest that refuses to mind the boundaries we have set in place, or even an occasional hyena sent our way meant to intimidate us from our path. 

But like the wildebeest, we can choose to ignore these distractions, find ways to overcome the difficulties as we remain surrounded by a healthy support system and continue on with assurance that we, too, will find our destination soon enough. 

I was having various distractions come at me in the past few weeks, and all while I was working hard on projects that needed a lot of my attention and energy. It took a lot for me to continue to remain focused on what was before me and not get pulled away. As well as, not allowing those distractions to derail my focus on God and His goodness.  And that is when I heard the Lord tell me to become immovable in order to be an overcomer in Him.

Distractions will come and go, others will upset us and life likes to interrupt us with the unpredictable, but we always have a choice to continue on with living out who we truly are as children of God and reflecting His true nature in our choices. 

Set your mind to be unyielding and immovable as you move along your journey!