A valuable lesson of many that I have learned within my trauma therapy, is that I had focused on the wrong wounds of some of my issues.
Not that those wounds I was focused on did not negatively impact me, but in focusing on just those particular sets of wounds I overlooked a crucial one. I did that for a few reasons. One, I thought that I had already healed with that wound, and two, on recalling the event that caused the wounding I did not feel great emotion with it.
So, I was surprised when the Lord allowed that wound in me to be poked and prodded in real- time to get me to realize how much it was still there and still impacting so much in my life.
When I was made aware of this I realized why I neglected this deep wound for so long.
The wound happened in childhood, so plenty of days and months and years had gone by without addressing it. And when I became triggered with it in the present, I had no way to link that trigger back to this particular wound because I had succeeded at burying it deep within my heart.
It felt like this wound was behind the strongest and largest locked door with chains and padlocks wrapped around it so that no one, not even myself, could get in. My mind had learned, all too well, how to guard the most vulnerable area I had within me. And over time this built-up defense even kept me out and unaware of the damage it was causing in my life.
The time to address this wound was in His perfect timing and it had to be addressed after many other wounds and traumas were healed and dealt with. So when I began to develop panic attacks all over again last year, I had nowhere else to point to as the culprit but the one remaining untouchable wound.
Yet the Lord knew how to unlock that door and bring healing to that tender part of my heart.
After the healing took place and I was made aware of what He was doing behind that bolted door, my mind quickly ran through different memories where I had allowed that wound to cloud my judgment or made difficult situations with people that much harder.
It was liberating to discover this sorely blind spot I had with me for many years. And even more liberating to now be healed of it. And it made all the more sense of why the enemy came at me hard during this healing process. The enemy would no longer have this wound to use against me and my relationships and the purpose God has for me.
Without that wound coloring my interactions with people and family, I now feel free and fearless and the person God has always intended for me to be that much more.
Do you have a vulnerable area in your heart, a deep wound you know is there that is hungry for healing as well? Let me encourage you to continue to take that to God and ask Him for healing. And friend, God wants that wound healed more than you know and He will provide a way for healing to be made.